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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Day 10, Wednesday: In Which Our Heroine Struggles with First World Problems

Okay, you know that the blog is about a week to ten days behind my life, right? So I can tell you that this day began a run of a feeling crappy that did not end for a week.

Feeling crappy is a common occurrence on the 21 Day Sugar Detox. Looking at the handbook last night (more on THAT in a couple of days), I was reminded of all the yuck-o feelings that can come up while detoxing. Headaches, muscle and joint pain, mood changes, diarrhea, nausea, foggy-headedness, fatigue, etc. "Why do it then?!" you may cry. Because it's a detox! Detoxing from heroin feels lousy too. Generally "by Week 2 you should begin to feel only positive changes," says Diane.

This...has not been the case for me. It wasn't the case the first time I did the Detox, and it hasn't now. You remember the train metaphor from yesterday? Generally, when I am well into the Detox, my trains run on time, but they come really quickly through the station, and the passengers bolt off the train. This metaphor is becoming unwieldy, but out of respect for your finer feelings, Gentle Reader, I shall persist in trying to use it instead of just saying what I mean which is that I get diarrhea. Oops! Cat's out of the bag. I also feel kind of foggy and cranky, all starting at the end of Week One and persisting for 7-10 days.

This is really disheartening. The Detox is so hard for me (I know this is a dumb first world complaint. Know what's hard? Starving to death in Africa. Or the USA. That's hard.) that it really bums me out to be putting in the time to clean up my diet only to feel worse than before. The first time around I almost called Diane's mother, one of my yoga students, and asked her to put me in touch with her. Who cares that Diane is a probably-very-busy NYT bestselling author? I wanted to talk to her about Number Two! She would probably not object, actually. There's a whole section in her book, Practical Paleo, about poop--what it looks like, what it should look like, how often, what texture, what you'll see if you have problem X or Y, etc. Who gives a crap? Diane does. However, I refrained, and soon enough, things (ahem) "cleared up" for me, and by the end of my first Detox, I felt great.

The meals I ate on this day, Day 10 of my second Detox, swung me right into the middle of Feelin' Shitty City. Is it because it was Week Two? Is it because these were not good choices for me even though they were Detox-approved? Who knows.

Breakfast: Turkey burger and kale.
Lunch: Smoked Salmon and goat cheese wrapped up in butter lettuce leaves.
Snack: Sauteed apples and nuts concoction.
Dinner: HUGE ASS steak and broccoli for dinner.

By the end of this day I felt like absolute crap.

Breakfast went well. My FB friend G.C. Aloha had given me a tip about getting the kale and turkey burger to finish cooking at the same time--put the kale in before the turkey burger. Duh! So I tried that and it went well. It was good.

Lunch was problematic. I have oodles of issues and strategies around dairy. I love it. As a kid I preferred drinking 2% milk to water. For many years I actually didn't feel that water could quench my thirst like milk could. I adore cheese, cream and butter. I really don't do well with full cow dairy. So I switched to goat dairy. I've ridden the goat dairy train a long way. But I so often feel lousy after goat dairy (might have something to do with the fact that I eat a TON at one sitting?) that I have concluded that at present, I can handle yogurt and that's it. The salmon tasted fantastic but I did not feel great after.

Snack was INCREDIBLY AWESOME. Here's what you do: sautee some chopped nuts in coconut oil with cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Put this concoction over the fruit of your choice. Add a dollop of goat yogurt if desired. EPIC WIN! On this day, I put the nuts over some apples that I had diced and also sauteed in butter with cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. It ended up tasting like apple pie. It was so intensely rich--and sweet!--that immediately afterward I had to lay down.

Dinner rolled around and I was feeling kind of like "blerg" but I persevered with eating too much of the aforementioned big ass steak. Big mistake. After dinner I had to go lay on the couch with a cool washcloth on my forehead. My husband has a name for the hot, sweaty, swollen feeling you get from overeating. It appeared on the TV show "Friends" but Chris was saying it long before Joey Tribiani. He calls it "The Meat Sweats." Which, when you think about it, is a great name for a band.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been there Emma. Sugar detox is NOT easy. But I will add that when I was finally off sugar I was at my best health -- emotional and physical -- ever. That was 13 years ago, mind you, but I still remember it fondly. ;)

Hang in there -- one thing to be thankful for. First world grocery stores that sell things like kale and turkey burgers. Even in first-and-a-half world countries (like Israel) specialty items that make detoxes easier are really difficult to find.

August 28, 2013 at 2:14 AM  

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