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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Day 6, Saturday: In Which I Fall Off the Wagon


Sorry the blog didn't go up last night at the usual time. Wednesday night is always a toughie for me because I teach till 9pm. I was flattered to receive several messages from my rabid fans clamoring for the latest post! Okay, not several. I got one. And actually, it wasn't really "fans" plural. It was one fan, who, full disclosure, is actually related to me. And really, I don't know if you can call it a message--it was a text. Still, I have made it my business this morning to satisfy my sister's craving for my food update and my scintillating prose!

On this day, I fell off the wagon, once on purpose, and once by accident.

Breakfast was pretty stellar, although it was not breakfast food, which I'm not crazy about. A couple of slices of turkey and a half a yellow pepper. I adore yellow and orange bell peppers, but I do feel a bit guilty about eating them because most of them are exactly the opposite of local--they're from Holland or Israel. But man are they fantastic! Sweet, too.

Lunch: my lovely in-laws took me out to lunch because hubby was out of town. We went for Mexican. We had guacamole (fine) and I had fajitas without the tortillas. So steak, onion, green pepper, mushroom, tomato. Should be fine, but afterward I felt a I'm pretty sure the steak was marinated in something sugary.

Dinner: turns out my friend Eyal is in town from Israel (where my peppers come from!) and our mutual friend Nina invited me over for dinner. Now, here's my thing about going over to a friend's house when I'm on a sugar detox: I let it go. If I had seriously dangerous food sensitivities, I would be much more careful. But I don't. So I eat what everyone else is eating. Everyone else was having adult beverages, there was some fantastic corn on the cob, there were grapes, there were cookies and chocolate covered pretzels. Here's what I had:

- Vodka with lime juice. I'd never had this beverage before but it might be my new go-to drink. It was the first thing I had when I got there, and again, because of the detox, it actually tasted SWEET. As anyone who has ever socialized with me knows, it takes a very small amount of alcohol to create lampshade-on-the-head Emma. I have the tolerance of a flea but I drank this slowly and it was fantastic. BOOZE IS DECIDEDLY NOT DETOX FRIENDLY. As you probably know, it's all sugar. Did you know that one factor in alcoholism is that the sufferer is addicted to the sugar? True story.
- Spinach dip. Not sure what Nina put in this but it was spinachy and oniony and cheesy and very tasty. I'm sure it was cow milk rather than goat milk cheese (I generally can tolerate the latter, but not the former so well). I ate it with baby carrots instead of the crackers that were there. It was also fantastic.
- One grape. Then I remembered that I'm not eating grapes, and there were plenty of other tasty things, so I ate those instead.
- Lots of carrots and blanched green beans.
- One ear of corn on the cob.
- Shrimp
- Salad (probably some sweetener in the dressing. There were cranberries but I didn't eat them.)

So far I had been doing pretty well. I'd had vodka and corn, but oh well--vodka is a very clean drink and the corn was from an organic farm stand, so I felt my fall had been gentle and short. THEN the dessert came out. I simply cannot--CANNOT--sit next to a plate of chocolate chip cookies and not have one. I can't do it. They are my number one, number one favorite thing to eat. They are my nemesis. If it wouldn't destroy my health, I would eat chocolate chip cookies and milk* at every meal and never, never get tired of them. The crispy outer edge. The chewy center. The hint of salt. The texture when soaked in milk. The way the chips melt all over you when you eat them straight out of the oven. What I really love is home made, but I'm not picky. I would eat Entemann's if necessary.

So I had one. Then I had another. Then a plate of dark chocolate covered pretzels came out. Thereupon the cookies became a gateway drug for the pretzels. I told myself a very strange story: "Oh, the pretzels aren't cookies so they're not so bad." So I ate four of them. Here in the hard cold light of morning I realize that in fact the pretzels are exactly the same thing as the cookies. Wheat flour and chocolate. Forget the hard cold light of morning--I knew they were the same thing the moment I was eating them! Good thing I skipped those grapes, huh? Wouldn't wanna screw up my Detox with GRAPES when there are COOKIES around!

Sigh. I enjoyed my fall off the wagon immensely. And if you ask me, when doing a Detox, that's exactly the attitude to have. I fell off the wagon, I had a great time, and tomorrow is another day.

*WHOLE milk. That's right. I would dip the cookies in whole milk. Now that's PROFESSIONAL.

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