Tag Along on My Sugar Detox!

[WARNING: this blog post contains an unusual number of bulleted and numbered lists.]

Okay, Sportsfans, I am 21-Day-Sugar-Fast-ing it again! This is, of course, a total drag. What I would eat every day if I could:

•  - Raymond's French toast (Raymond's is a local restaurant)
•  - My recipe for French toast (challah, full cream, cinnamon and nutmeg--you do the math)
•  - Real French baguette with lashings of butter, dipped in hot chocolate
•  - My recipe for mac and cheese (includes bechamel sauce--OH YEAH)
•  - My recipe for cinnamon rolls, adapted from Cooks Illustrated and improved a million times by me
•  - Beth Collins's chocolate chip cookies and milk (Beth is a family friend)
•  - Susan Magenta's cream puffs (not my biological sister, but my sister of the heart, especially in matters pertaining to dessert)

Are you noticing a trend in these food items? Are you noticing that they are all pretty much variations on MILK and BREAD and SUGAR? You're damn right they are, and I'm not ashamed of it. Problem is, when I eat this way I feel. like. death. Plus I break out in hives the size of the palm of your hand. Plus I act like a terrible bitch.

The 21-Day Sugar Detox is a program developed by my Paleo diet guru, Diane Sanfilippo, author of Practical Paleo. Let's get the Paleo bashing out of the way, shall we?

• - "People didn't really eat like that in the paleolithic era!" I don't know what people ate in the Paleolithic era. I can only say that regardless of the anthropology, many years and many food plans have revealed to me that the Paleo diet works best for me. 
• - "All that meat is bad for you! Look at what happened to Atkins!" Paleo's not Atkins. You eat meat, responsibly-sourced meat. But you also eat eggs fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Dairy and potatoes are a bit of a grey area. Legumes are out. Why? I can't remember. Look it up.
• - "I'm a vegetarian and I feel great!" That's so great for you! I am so happy to hear you are happy with your food plan! A vegetarian diet makes me feel like crap on a cracker. A wheat cracker. With cheese on it. But that doesn't mean I think you have to eat like I do. 

Paleo is way far from the Standard American Diet (SAD). But the 21-Day Sugar Detox is even farther. On the detox, you avoid all the usual stuff you avoid when eating Paleo and also confine your fruits to one green apple or one green-tipped (i.e., not ripe and less sweet) banana per day. You can find out all the nitty-gritty from Diane's website, balancedbites.com, or from her forthcoming book, the 21-Day Sugar Detox. 

I did the detox this winter. I noticed a couple of things: I slept way better, and it was easier than I imagined for me, an avowed sugar junkie. Just to give you an idea of how big a junkie I am: when my friend Bernadette first asked me if I wanted to do the sugar detox, I said "NO." She asked why, and I told her that even though I know giving up sugar would be healthier for me, even though I knew it wreaked havoc on my brain power and relationships, I simply didn't want to stop eating sugar. I liked it too much. You know, like the same reason a junkie doesn't want to give up heroin. Because she really, really likes it. 

Now, I'm back to the detox well again. For a few reasons. 

1. 1. Bernadette is doing it right now too, and I adore her so I have to rush right out and do whatever she's doing. 
2. 2. I recently returned from a week in Chicago where my husband and I ate our way through the entire city. Seriously. We ate so much that when my husband told my mother in law we needed to go on a diet she said, "I know, I saw the pictures from Chicago on Facebook, and you were blowing up more and more in every picture!" You know you need to change your food habits when your family is tracking your weight gain on Facebook. 
3. 3. I was suddenly struck by an attack of nerve pain in my foot three weeks ago, and the only thing that I was doing differently before it struck was DRILLING Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups. I've seen a foot doctor, I'm getting an MRI, etc etc, but I'm also a bit curious whether my foot pain will improve when I cut out the sugar. (Note to those who enjoy the TJ's DCPBCs: FREEZE THEM. You're welcome.)

My mom will say it is hopelessly narcissistic, my sister* will laugh at me, but I thought you might enjoy seeing what I'm eating on the detox. So look for a post a day, or every couple of days, filling you in on my progress. Marvel at the surprising VOLUME of food I put away! Sneer when I fall off the wagon! Cheer when I cross the finish line and head right for the Able Baker in Maplewood! 

I started a few days ago. My post about the first couple of days is coming up soon. Stay tuned!

* My sister, by the way, has the world's best line about dieting. She runs six miles a day, and when I said to her, "Geez, six miles a day, isn't that incredibly boring?" she replied, "Nothing is more boring than not eating what you want." It almost inspired me to start running again. Almost.